i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Send help, water and tortillas.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
