Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
