You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
