oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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