I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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