porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
