your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
