I wish my penis had an off switch
What did we do last night that was yellow?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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