Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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