We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
