do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
