i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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