we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
