come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
