after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
BRING THE BAGELS
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
