my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm just crazy horny about you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
