I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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