God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
