so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
