What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
