T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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