; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
