Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
