I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
