We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
pop tarts are not kleenex
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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