o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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