I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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