Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
