Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
