..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
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Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
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He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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