you turned your livingroom into a bong?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
