Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize