my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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