She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
