so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
