I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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