Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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