I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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