Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
