It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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