3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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