Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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