I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
