I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
