At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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