This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
