dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
