If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
