I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
