I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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