i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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