respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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