That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
