She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
